The Search for the Perfect Porcelain Pot Across Radford

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By: Michael Aaron Coopersmith | mcoopersmith@radford.edu

The bathroom has been a relaxing domain since the invention of the porcelain toilet in 1596. Initially, such a device that blesses the user with total bliss was limited to only the wealthy and those of high status. Yet, with the birth of globalization and mass production, the porcelain toilet is now compulsory for every building.

In all sincerity, one might not truly trust strangers and the hands that keep these facilities maintained. So, I took it upon myself to inspect and use the major facilities at Radford that house the most traffic.

Due to the lack of accessibility, I had to exclude dorm public bathrooms from this list (Not to mention the comedic awkwardness of asking my way into a dormitory to use the bathroom).

My journey began in The College of Humanities and Behavioral Sciences (CHBS) building. CHBS is best known for hosting the majority of non-STEM or non-Business majors and also housing a chain coffee company, aka Starbucks, who’s wait time is never-ending.

But, after you are done waiting in line, you can take some pleasure in crossing to the other side of the restaurant to use the restroom, in which you can relieve yourself of whatever food you thought would taste good from a Starbucks. 

Moving away from commercial coffee and entering the building itself, one will find offices of students more attuned with the human element. One would think that the stalls would be filled with scribbles such as “God’s Dead” or “The Boulder shall just fall down tomorrow.” One could see this as a “pro” or “con” because one might not wish for there to be a “social statement” presiding over you. However, some may see these statements as entertaining. 

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Photo Credit: (Curology on Unsplash)

Continuing to another popular building, Dalton Hall, which holds most of the on-campus restaurants, only two of which are not chains. Yet, with all these restaurants within the same area, one might think that the bathrooms would be a bit larger. 

After loading up on more ammo, I headed off to the nearby building of Heth. A student would go to this building to squeeze the last penny out of their bank account. To my surprise, they didn’t make me insert my credit card to use their bathroom. 

With my stomach now feeling a bit lighter, my final destination was Kyle Hall. Kyle is one of the newer buildings on the campus, almost built solely for one major. As I entered, I quickly procured some more food to give me a reason to use their bathrooms, quite an easy task since the building houses a fully stocked pseudo-convenience store.

Kyle Hall’s would be the final restroom I would be visiting, and I very much wanted to enjoy myself. Maybe, I would hear the sounds of stock market tickers clicking away in the distances as fellow business majors delightfully go over “shop talk.”

To no avail, no such things occur in a public restroom. Who would want to spend more than five minutes in a public bathroom? 

I would say that finding the porcelain diamond in the rough would be as rare as a royal flush.

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Photo Credit: (Jan Kolar on Unsplash)