Overheard at Radford

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Over my last two years here at Radford, I have had the pleasure of overhearing a countless number of some pretty ridiculous conversations. Nothing I would go out of my way to hear, just those one or two sentences you sometimes catch from two people talking as you pass them on the sidewalk or stand behind them in line at a food spot like Au Bon Pain or Chick-Fil-A.

Everyone has had these experiences. Most of the time you don’t really pay attention, but then there are those few instances where you stop what you’re doing and think to yourself, “Did I really just hear what I think I heard?”

So, since I have caught so many of these peculiar statements, I decided to share some of them.

As a small disclaimer, I have no clue who any of these people are nor will I try to describe their person in order to hold what privacy of their conversation they may have left.

I am going to start with one of my favorites. It was just a normal day eating lunch in Dalton when someone passed my table and said to their friend, “I don’t even care, I want a (expletive) monkey”…

Now, this wouldn’t be that out of the ordinary if it were followed by a laugh or smile, which is what I was expecting. But in this instance when I looked at the two people talking, the one who wanted the monkey had the most serious face on and the other was shrugging and nodding in agreement.

Did she ever get a monkey? I don’t know, but from the looks of it she would have flown to the rain forest and stolen one before giving up on the idea.

The next one that comes to mind is more on the gossipy end. Also overheard at Dalton, but this time I was the one passing the conversationalists who were sitting at a table.

As I passed a table of a few girls, I heard one of them say, “Yeah I cheated on him, but it was his fault that I did!”

Now to be fair, I did not know the context of which they were speaking. But from the sounds of it, someone had a little bit of a responsibility issue… I was pretty confused at the statement to put it simply.

This next quote is from Moffett Quad, not too long ago. There were some guys lax’n it up (is that the right lingo, bro?) with their lacrosse sticks. In passing, I heard one of them say the most precious, stereotypical sentence that I have ever heard come out of a “laxer’s” mouth.

I kid you not, this guy said, “Lacrosse is like, literally, like, my life, like, straight up”. Bro… I feel the same way!

Not really, I feel like you should fix your grammar and maybe dedicate your life to something a little more productive. Maybe English class?

In all fairness though, I spend a majority of my free time on a skateboard, so I am no better. I just admire how well he fit the stereotype.

We are only three quotes in, but that is all the space I have for now. I hope you got as much amusement out of these excerpts as I did.

I’ll leave you with one last goodbye which I heard a while back.

“I’m gonna go ride a dog. Later.”

Troy Fitzpatrick

I'll do this some other time...