By Dylan Lepore | firstname.lastname@example.org
Dear Radford Faculty, Staff and Students,
I regret to inform you that The Tartan will be shutting down publication effective immediately Tuesday night. It has been a long run, and we as a newspaper and citizens of the Radford community have grown immensely because of our positions here at The Tartan.
We have rebuilt the newspaper from the ground up, created an engaging website, changed the cover once or twice, and built up a team of writers who enjoy what they do here at The Tartan; however, that is where the problems lie.
The staff seems to enjoy writing too much, so much in fact, that the higher-ups couldn’t believe it. So they decided to shut us down in an effort to lower the amount of joy being had.
This may be a dark day for a college newspaper, but our joy of reporting on the events people care about will never stop. Light is always shining on new paths.
George Orwell once said, “Early in life I had noticed that no event is ever correctly reported in a newspaper.”
All my best and Happy April Fools’,