If you’ve forgotten days of the week, ask Rebecca Black

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Rachael Smith


I will bet no one on this campus cringed when they heard the lyrics: “It’s Friday. Gotta get down on Friday. Everybody’s looking forward to the weekend. Partying…yeah.” Because yes, everyone is looking forward to the weekend and partying, but never in the way Rebecca Black describes. That is, unless you are a thirteen year old girl, in which case, you shouldn’t be here anyway.

When I first heard about this, let’s say “innovative” song, it was my roommate asking if I had heard that, “Friday song that everyone is obsessed with?” I soon found out that obsessed is not always a good thing. After listening to it, I realized that the “Friday” song is, hands-down, the single worst song I have ever heard.
Believe me, I know not everyone has the talent to sing. I’m one of those people, but I’m not making my parents pay insane amounts of money to Ark Music Factory to make music video of me and my lame friends trying to decide where to sit in a car that we cannot legally drive. I’m still waiting for that to be explained to me.

Patrice Wilson, the writer of that “song,” says she wanted the song to be “simple and kind of sweet.” Instead, it turned out to be overly simple, with the words being repeated over and over again. It’s also rude to other normal minors who are probably now cursing Rebecca Black for stereotyping them as losers who think they can go to a beach party and stick their heads of out the tops of convertibles.
With about 70 million views, Rebecca Black is the most hated person on YouTube with 1, 336, 153 dislikes. Ark Music Factory is a record label that lets basically anyone with thousands of dollars pay to make a low quality music video and put it on YouTube. The producer and Patrice Wilson show up in Black’s video as well as many young tweens. That’s right, Rebecca is not the only terribly unfortunate singer out there with a somewhat fake record label. Go check out Alana Lee’s “Butterflies,” which is a personal favorite of mine. No matter if you love these videos or hate them, they are addictive to watch. It’s like watching every single cliché in human existence right before your eyes. Even though these other girls’ videos equally suck, Rebecca Black truly took the art of music to a new level and then butchered it.

There is some news on the street that Rebecca Black is officially summer touring, I would love to know if people would just buy tickets to see her in person and then try to attack her for what she has done to music.

One of my favorite discoveries was on twitter, where many people have tweeted to Kayne West: “If Rebecca Black wins any awards, you know what to do!”
This song has been helpful to those in need of certain situations. For example, some of us have found ourselves asking “Rebecca, please tell me what day comes after tomorrow? OK, what about the next day?” We also know now that there are finally other people who can’t decide where to sit in the car either! Whew! Thanks Rebecca for everything you are doing for America in our most dire time of need.
So please Rebecca, find some way to go back in time, not make this video, save your social life and never have to wonder if everyone on the planet is simultaneously making fun of you for creating a song that never goes away.